Things Hidden
I ran across Bill Zeller's story yesterday. Didn't know of him previously, but reading his suicide note - uncovering his past of being sexually abused and the soul killing fallout in his life was sobering. I was reminded once again that we simply don't know what darkness and hemmorhagic pain lurk behind the eyes of those around us.
I read this story yesterday. I posted it on my FB page. There was so much in it. It looked like Mr. Zeller had the "American Dream." I wondered about his parents, his view of God and Christianity. He used the term darkness and evil quite a bit. I wondered about this girl he dated. I wonder how she is feeling? I wondered about the man/men? who did this to him? I wonder about remembering every day such evil? Remembering is powerful. Sometimes we chose not to, because it is too painful to make "life work." I wonder about the honesty and dishonesty in such disclosure. How to forgive? Forgive evil done to me, but also the evil I do. I usually remember what others do to me, but don't like to be as detailed and honest about what I do to them. Humbling how much I need the cross.
That is the most heartbreaking story I have ever read. I wonder what would have changed for him if he were able to talk to someone (truly). It makes me think of the Catholic view of confession and how it is a consolation and is joy-producing. The whole time reading that I thought "why didn't he ever come to Christ for relief of pain?" Now I know why: the God/gospel he saw modeled was not loving and was maybe more about rules. Sad, so sad. Thanks for sharing.
The idea of confession struck me as well. Being known is something that seems to be at the core of life.
extremely sobering...vivid description of the deep struggle of all humans (with varying degrees of damage) and the deception of the evil one - hopelessness. 'I was reminded once again that we simply don't know what darkness and hemmorhagic pain lurk behind the eyes of those around us.' I agree and am silenced...
I ache for the Cross.
I ache for the Cross.